How to Deal When Things Don't Go Your Way
/We all have experienced setbacks and failures but our reactions to it can make all the difference. Here’s how to deal when things don’t go your way.
Have you ever experienced a setback?
Have you ever failed at something?
Do things always go your way?
Yes, yes, no!
If you’re human, which I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you are, I’m going to confidently say that you’ve been unable to achieve some things in your life.
There have been diets that haven’t worked, jobs, relationships, and so much more.
You’ve likely been really disappointed, sad, or even depressed. You could be feeling that way right now.
That’s why I want to discuss how to deal when things don’t go your way.
How to Deal When Things Don’t Go Your Way
1. Feel It - Vent and Release
You’re not going to like this, but you’re going to need to drop yourself directly into that big ol’ pain you’re feeling.
What you resist, persists, so get in there. Feel the frustration.
If you enjoy writing, try journaling. Put your thoughts and feelings down on paper. It’s a way to get them out of your head and give yourself some perspective.
If writing is not your thing, set a timer for 15 minutes and have a mini-tantrum. Scream, cry, and acknowledge where you are so you can start to release some of the physical and mental tension.
If you meditate, get yourself on a cushion and drop in. Even if you don’t meditate, take some deep breaths, focusing on where the physical tension exists in your body. After a few rounds, hopefully, your body will start relaxing a bit and you’ll find some extra headspace.
2. Watch Your Reaction
Ok, something didn’t go your way, so now what?
Are you making it mean something bigger than it is? Are you making a break-up mean you’re not pretty enough, smart enough, or loveable?
Try to avoid catastrophizing, spiraling, and generalizing. All those ing words aren’t going to help you feel any better.
Stop yourself from going down a rabbit hole and making matters worse.
3. Share
Start to release the pain further by calling a friend, confidant, coach, or therapist.
Putting words to it will help you unravel it. Having a friend hear you out and support you can help lessen the load.
Sometimes an outside party can help you look at things from a different angle.
4. Evaluate
After you’ve gotten some distance from your frustration of things not going your way, have a look at why you were so set off.
You don’t want to repeat it and you do want to learn from it.
Don’t lose the lesson.
5. Give Yourself Some Love
Be kind and gentle with yourself when things don’t go your way.
You encountered a setback. While you work through these steps to help you deal with not getting what you want, take time for self-care.
Soak in a bath, listen to your favorite music, sleep, and take time for yourself.
Nurture yourself like you would a child who’s hurt.
6. Trust
Trust the universe has a master plan far greater than anything you can dream up.
Trust you’re on the right path.
That doesn’t mean, sulking on the couch all day, hoping for the best.
Show up. Be present. Be you.
Then trust the rest will turn out exactly as it’s intended.
7. Surrender
After you build the trust, simply surrender.
Fighting what is only leads to frustration. Accept and surrender.
Know that better things are on their way to you.
8. Be Patient
It can take some time to recover when things don’t go your way.
Give it time.
Practice the steps above, and repeat, and repeat again if necessary.
If you’d like additional help getting your diet, health, or mindset back on track after a setback, reach out to learn more about my one-on-one coaching. I’ll work with you to co-create a plan so you can have the energy and happiness in your life that you want and deserve. Read more here.
